January 15, 2009

Admit it - Boston is no longer Sports Town USA...

A buddy of mine from NYC emailed a bunch of us up here in Boston and mentioned that if the Eagles take the Superbowl, we will have to pass the title of Sports Town to Philadelphia. while posed as a serious email, we all know that he loves to just say stuff to see if he can get a rise out of us -- and it worked for a couple of emails... we catelogued this incredible decade, while pointing out that no other city has had nearly the same good fortune.

But, he wouldn't budge from his indefensible stand, which is when the, admittedly, very low watt light bulb went on over my head, and I realized how much he must laugh everytime he sees that we emailed back a retort to his position. Realizing we've been played, I decided we should just give in to his demands of reliquishing the title of Sports Town, USA...

"You know, you have a very good point, my leg-pulling New York friend. Before, I was always dying to have my teams just make the finals, let alone win it all. Now that we have so many wins under the belt, at a pace where teams are practically taking turns being the heroes of Boston every year, it's gotten kind of old.

I just don't care about it as much -- it's practically antiquated. Every time I see/hear Sportscenter talking about my teams in a disproportionate way, as compared to the rest of the entire universe, I find myself yawning and realizing that I've grown fond enough of SpongeBob Squarepants, that I can watch his clever quips with Patrick & Squidworth without the kids around. And so I do. Hearing about the day to day dealings of my teams on a national forum -- as if no other teams really mattered -- is frankly, a little bit embarassing. I've had to take a long hard look in the mirror -- and I just didn't like what I saw -- I saw a city that owns the best every league has to offer, and I saw a country that knows it. It was like looking into the sun. It hurt.

So, darn it, I think you're right, we should pass the torch on to some other needy city, as Zeus first touched Hercules and gave him back his qualities of the gods, once he had proven himself worthy. We now, as a city - nay, a region - must realize that we cannot crow about our dominance so unforgively. We must just let it exist as an entity. As a young high schooler, Peter Parker learned a valuable lesson when he let a thief pass him by without trying to stop him - a thief that would later kill his Uncle Ben... With great power comes great responsibility.

We wield a grossly disproportionate amount of power, almost too many championships across the spectrum of all imporatant major sports in these United States, and we have discussed it at length, lo' these many years. Even though there has been little ebb to this great tide of winning -- nay, it's actually gained ground on this lonely beachfront, considering the first half of the 21st Century's first decade was dominated by two sports, and we're now looking at four sport domination -- we must in fact lessen the stranglehold on the title Sports Town USA.

In letting the storied title purposely slip from our grasp - for there is of course no true contesting wannabe titan able to scale our slippery mount - we may in fact find that we have already reached the tanscendent state, that no city or region has ever held over such an extended period of time. Sports Mecca of the World. Philly, New York, LA, London for that matter... whoever... here... here is this title which has given us much happieness. In giving it to whomsoever among you can wrest the title from your bretheren, we look down upon you from our lofty perch with fondness. The game is, of course, on."

With a smug smile I emailed my missive off -- only to open his reply and read in a straight-faced note that it looks like I'm agreeing with him. Whaddyagonnado?

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