What it Means to Be Irish
1) You will never play professional basketball.
2) You swear very well.
3) At least one of your cousins is a fireman, cop, bar owner, funeral
home owner or holds political office. And you have at least one aunt who is
a nun, or uncle who's a priest.
4) You think you sing very well.
5) You have no idea how to make a long story short!
6) There isn't a big difference between you losing your temper or
7) Much of your childhood meals were boiled. Instant potatoes were a
8) You have never hit your head on a ceiling.
9) You spent a good portion of your childhood kneeling in prayer
(Catholic guilt forever!).
10) You're strangely poetic after a few beers.
11) You are, therefore, poetic a lot.
12) You will be punched for no good reason...a lot.
13) Some punches directed at you are from legacies of past
14) Many of your sisters and/or cousins are named Mary, Catherine, or
Eileen... and there is at least one member of your family with the
full name of Mary Catherine Eileen.
15) Someone in your family is very generous. It is more than likely
16) You may not know the words, but that doesn't stop you from
17) You can't wait for the other guy to stop talking before you start
18) You're not nearly as funny as you think you are ... but what you
lack in talent, you make up for in frequency.
19) There wasn't a huge difference between your last wake and your
last keg party.
20) You are, or know someone, named Murph.
21) If you don't know Murph then you know Mac. If you don't know Murph
or Mac then you know Sully. It's conceivable you know Sully MacMurphy.
22) You are genetically incapable of keeping a secret.
23) You have Irish Alzheimer's... you forget everything but the
24) You met your husband/wife/significant
other/accountant/lawyer/landscaper/etc.. in a bar.
25) All of your losses are alcohol-related (loss of... virginity,
driver's license, money, job, significant other, teeth from punch...) but this
never stops you from drinking.
26) Your skin's ability to tan.... not so much.
27) At this very moment, you have at least two relatives who are not
speaking to each other (not fighting, mind you, just not speaking to
28) Childhood remedies for the common cold often included whiskey.
29) There's no leaving a family party without saying goodbye for at
least 45 minutes.
30) You long ago learnt that 'Irish Stew' is a euphemism for 'boiled
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