- Jimmy Hoffa's teeth, which, by an obscure New York City law, any new major stadium in the metropolitan area being built must have the former Teamster's President's remains
- Roger Clemen's testes and, ironically, a rat's ass
- Britney Spears' can't-miss business plan
- Phil Hughes control on his fastball
- Another fly-ball out by Wang the Magnificent
- A-Rod's Girl Scout Manual on how-to-slap-a-ball-out-of-a-glove
- The consistency of Dice-K
- Girardi's coaching acumen that tells him when to walk a batter
- The only smidgen of Manny than isn't in dead-on regular season form
- A hidden video of Theo Epstein standing in the mirror late Sunday night screaming at a make-believe press conference,... "So, J.D. Drew was a bad deal huh?!! Won't be good once his family stuff is done, huh?!!! Waste of Sox salary smart guy?!!!!! How you feeling now... sucka!!!!!!"
- The numbskull Boston fans who still exist cica, 2002, yelling 'Yankees Suck' at home games
- Mo Vaughn's healthy foot/ankle
- Hank Steinbrenner's convictions (Jinx?, What jinx?, There's no jinxes... just to be sure we'll dig it up to show you)
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